OVERWHELMED?

 Feeling overwhelmed? 

If not, just wait a few weeks...'Tis the season, almost upon us again. However, we can feel overwhelmed at any time, overwhelmed by the simple tasks of daily living that we used to accomplish without even thinking. Feeling overwhelmed may be a normal part of this aging process we're experiencing.

According to research our brains are at their sharpest when we are eighteen years old. By the time we are eighty years old (plus, would be me!) our frontal lobe decline is at twenty-four percent. (No wonder I've been joking about losing brain cells. Turns out, it's no joke!) This, in part, is why our doctors and researchers encourage us to challenge our brains daily with games and crossword puzzles. Or work. Still, it's disconcerting to realize that the brain is not working as well or as quickly as it once did. The synapses are not connecting like they used to. Pretty frightening stuff.

Too often we project an image of being more capable than we really are. We don't want to be a burden to our family. It's a pride thing. If you've always been an independent intelligent person, preserving your image, your very identity, means everything. You've made important decisions, raised a family, and traveled the world. Perhaps you've never needed or wanted anyone to take care of you. Even in the worst of times you've solved the problems, dusted yourself off, got up from the floor, and moved forward.

And then one day it all gets to be too much. The respect you've earned by being a capable, confident human one day falls apart in a mega meltdown of tears and self-recrimination. Mistakes made in the past meld with the present, so minor mistakes, like a forgotten birthday or bill payment.

How does it happen? And when it does, what kind of help is needed? Where can you find support, without giving up your independence? 

Maybe it's time to reorganize. Minimize and live simply.

Know that your family and friends love you. They will support you and help you. First, you...we...must let go of the pride and admit that what you could do so easily fifty years ago, isn't easy anymore. There have been too many mountains to climb, too many bills to pay, and too many doctor visits. Most of all, there have been too many losses of loved ones. And now another loss - the person you used to be. 

Your friends who are relatively of the same age will understand and help you in any way they can, even if just to listen. And to share how they are coping with the same aging problems. Start with a friend but don't hesitate to have honest conversations with your family. 

Adapting to the new you...and me...may take a bit of time. Let's be patient with ourselves.

THE "LOOK"

 The "look" that no one wants: "It looks like my grandmother's house.

Oh, my! Oh, no.

I am a voracious reader. I read everything I can get my hands on including those frightening pamphlets in doctors' offices. Although I don't remember the publication, the reading addiction is how I came across the article warning about how your home may resemble your grandmother's house...and if it does, what you should do about it. As a public service, I'm about to share the basic information with you.

We live in the age of modern and minimal, an insight which translates to the old "Less is more" philosophy. However, in a grandmother's house (or grandfather's house - no gender discrimination here), nothing within is minimal. Nor modern. The way a home was decorated thirty years ago without ever changing the decor to this day is a no-no. Are you guilty? 'Cause, it's a step back in time that no one else really wants to take. 

What are the new no-no's and how important are they? Well, I did have quite an extensive list of what not to do but sadly, misplaced it. Probably because I have a granny memory.

But I do remember several suggestions, like, removing the magnets on the front or side of your refrigerator. No. No. They are a dead giveaway you're living in a grandmother's house, living in the past. No one posts magnets on the fridge anymore. They belong in a drawer now with your scrapbooks.

Then there are those baskets of plastic plants sitting on the ledge above your kitchen cabinets. They fill in the empty spaces with glorious (no) greenery between the cabinets and the ceiling very nicely. Unfortunately, they are a BIG no-no. No! No! No! As dust collectors, they work fine, as decor not so much. We are urged to take them down ASAP. (And if the ceilings are popcorn, wow! Another big NO. Take them down too!)

And did you know bed skirts are also verbatim? It's no secret there's a mattress beneath those ruffles, So. No-no again and again. Remove them. Allow the mattress to go au natural. No one will judge you. Well, maybe in a positive way.

Doillies flash an immediate grandmother's house warning. No. No. No. Once the mainly crocheted lacy items were used to protect the furniture in much the same vein as the hideous plastic covers for the couch and living room chairs. (Remember the scrunch when you sat on them?) Rectangle or round, oilies are useless. They don't do much to protect your furniture. 

And then there are the oak kitchen cabinets. Uh, no! Another dead giveaway that you are living a grandmother's house lifestyle. Even if you are a grandmother. Refresh or reface your cabinets. Preferably before the day is over. In the past, I've painted mine in white, but by the time you read this, white or shades of, may already be a dated, no-no color.

Vertical blinds? OMG! No!