SWEET ENDINGS

 

Dessert First. A wise friend shared this bit of wisdom with me several decades ago at a writers’ conference luncheon. Dessert sat plated in front of us but the entrée was nowhere to be seen. Although sugar runs through my bloodstream, I didn’t always have the courage to eat dessert first at large luncheons. Until recently. In my later years it’s become increasingly important because time is not my best friend any longer.

When the end comes I want a smile on my face and a full allotment of sweet endings. Dessert will guarantee my happiness.

I have been warned about pre-diabetes but with all the aging medical problems that have come my way and may come my way – at any minute, I’m not concerned.

My favorite dessert is vanilla ice cream with a hot chocolate sauce I make myself. I love any kind of bread pudding and a great lemon meringue pie. I’ve made these things from scratch for most of my life. So, even though I believe I should not be in the kitchen at my age I will continue to be.

I haven’t mentioned chocolate dessert. But who doesn’t like chocolate? Slip be a delicious brownie anytime! Cookies are what shows up in the grocery bag if someone else is doing the shopping. (Mind you, I enjoy the right kind of cookies also - but they are not dessert.) 

Love is not too strong a word when I’m talking about desert.

I live alone which allows me the freedom to eat dessert whenever I wish. No one to shake her finger at me.

 

I will not melt no matter how much sugar I eat, but I have reduced my intake. May I suggest we eat all things in moderation. But if at all possible, eat dessert first.

 Desert with two s’s.  Des … sert.

 

MORE ADVENTURES IN AGING

 

There are many folks who hate the thought of aging. They don’t want to think about it let alone read about it. They refuse to allow the aches and pains... or drama to happen to them. The Adventures of Aging! As if. 

The anti-aging generation spends literally thousands of dollars and time with surgeons who will make them look twenty again. Good for the surgeons, but not especially for the want-a-be young again. Even if you look sixteen years old you’re never again going to feel the energy of a sixteen-year-older. Simple truth, You'ree going to feel older. The aging process lets no one off. (Maybe Dorian Gray)

 I recently heard over twenty-two million dollars was spent last year by folks paying what it takes to look young again. No matter how big your lips are, you’re going to be smaller in stature before you hit retirement age. I just discovered I’m two inches shorter than what I’ve been measured most of my life. What happened to five foot seven? How has that happened? (Never mind, I know. My modeling future is gone.)

And I am stressed almost daily by my outrageously high blood pressure, inherited from my mother and hers. This portion of the aging problem began way early in my life. Way before the researchers at Kings College in the UK discovered that dark chocolate is something everyone with high blood pressure should be eating every day. Not one doctor has prescribed a bit of dark chocolate after every meal! Why have I been taking these awful medicines (several!) when a bit of chocolate after my meals would be so helpful? And enjoyable.

This is still early in the new year and while I could make a new resolution, I don’t make resolutions. I do set goals. It’s not too late for me. One important goal is to more personalize my writing, my opinions.  I’ll be frank with what I’m exercising and talk less about studies on superagers. An * step in aging is for we elderly humans to exercise. Sadly, I haven’t even been walking my poor long-suffering dog. (But he has a nice back yard.)

So exercise is my number one goal - I fear making too many goals and then failing at them all. Chances of success are better with under three. I also hope to find a smaller abode. I don’t need an office anymore. I don’t need to write books…AI will do that.

In the end I will keep on this aging journey and enjoying the adventures to come. I'll be reporting the adventures in aging that I may experience in 2026 - and you might too. Let's do it together. Life is full of surprises. You never know what’s going to happen and it may just be wonderful…wonderfulness right around the corner.

 

 

 

 

UNEXPECTED

This is what a blog looks like when you leave it hanging. Unintentionally. 

Space

Space

And you’ve seen it right here for several weeks.. This empty space was the result of an unexpected event. I did not mean to do it. Just like I did not ever mean for dead-air while I worked in broadcasting. Dead air and empty spaces are equally verboten. Not permitted. Unacceptable to the extreme.

I had researched a topic, opened a Substack account and was poised to write. When…And then…

Unexpectedly I stopped.

Writing. Altogether.

Ah. Yet another adventure in aging.

The unexpected happens. Especially during the advanced aging process - because according to my theory, (Yes, I've developed several) we’ve become more vulnerable mentally as well as physically. 

Now, everyone over aged ten has been warned that unexpected events happen when you are least prepared for them. But how does one prepare for the unexpected? Simple answer is you cannot. 

I have no idea why I abruptly stopped. I know concentration and caring became a problem.  Does anyone really care about the obstacles in aging? Perhaps I should write about sex... after seventy. Maybe some other controversial topic? I was totally stymied. 

The physical issues are fairly well-known on this aging journey of ours but the mental issues? No one wants to talk about those - beyond dementia. We explore because we want, no, need to know more as scientists seek a cure. Diagnosed mental illness obtains research and funding. But not all is diagnosed yet.

Depression among the elderly is steadily gaining more attention. It's a question asked on Medicare tests, "Are you depressed?" "Do you experience depression?"  (No one says yes.)

Elderly depression and anxiety is acknowledged by doctors but dismissed by superagers who refuse to have their somewhat lofty (longevity) status challenged or tarnished. Besides, there's a pill for that! 

Have I suffered from a sudden lack of self-confidence or a spurt of depression? I truly don't know. But when facing the unexpected, I know we all benefit from time, professionals, family, friends, and yes, even ourselves. Be ready! 

Enjoy another small triumph signaling the end of another un-asked for adventure in aging. 

I GET GIDDY!

 There are no doctor appointments on my calendar for the next six weeks. Alarming. Truly alarming.

Does it frighten you when no doctor on your list of specialists has made a date to see you?

Frankly, I get giddy. Does this mean the aches; pains and surprises of aging have come to an end? Of course not. We all have arthritis, some in places we wish it wasn’t. But there is so much more to fear - if we allow fear into this doctor-free time. Fear of the unknown is powerful. I’ve considered several what-ifs.

What if I fall? A likely scenario even though my daughter removed every rug in my home that I could possibly stumble over. It’s very bare here. Trouble is I’ve been tripping over my own feet since I’ve been ten years old.

But falls are a number one concern according to the experts. One out of every four older adults will experience a fall according to the CDC. Falling once doubles your chances of falling again. Not happy stats!

Falls afflict twenty-five per cent of those sixty-five years and older. Age related muscle weakness, balance problems and sometimes medication side-effects are some of the reasons cited by the organizations that keep track of such statistics. (The afore mentioned CDC & the National Council on Aging.)

What if I catch a virus? I’m up to date on my vaccines, use Azelastine on a regular basis for my sinus allergies and have many mask back-ups left over from Covid pandemic. For two years I didn’t have any colds thanks to those masks! They’re as necessary for travel now as packing my bags.

I could get beamed by a hickory nut. These are hard-shelled lethal little bombs which fall willy-nilly from hickory trees during the fall. I’m thinking they could easily cause a concussion. Or you could break both ankles or worse by slipping on these tough nuts. However, the squirrels love them. They depend on hickory nuts to get them through the winter. (Keeping it positive here.)

Among the many what ifs that might happen? Well, I might throw my back out for the umpteenth time but this time in exercise class.

I could get hit by a bus or an impaired driver. But these accidental afflictions do not usually mean long-term setbacks.

On the other hand, dementia, cancer, long-term heart disease, stroke and lower respiratory disease are the chronic illnesses that may set in before our eighty-fifth birthday. By my count at this point I only have one of these and it does not hinder my daily life. Yet. Back to the stats - ninety-three per cent of us have at least one chronic condition and eighty per cent of us have two or more. (CDC, National Council on Aging sources.)

High blood pressure, arthritis and high cholesterol are the most common conditions seniors and super-agers suffer from and can usually be kept under control with medication. Kindness and empathy from our peers and family help us to endure many of these age related maladies.

Our number might not come up in the statistics but we need to practice kindness and grace with our friends who might be.

Lastly, I could have my internal organs shut down due to overuse…long years of use. (Passing, also known as by natural causes.)

So, yes, anything can happen during the dull lull between appointments, but I am a positive person and tell myself I deserve this little respite between doctors and medical surprises. I choose not live each day fearing some calamity will befall me at any moment. Instead, I’m sure it’s a time to crush as much good living as possible into each day.

And to remember at all times the old saying, Never regret growing old; it is a privilege denied many.

ANOTHER BIRTHDAY

 What do you do when another birthday is just days away? Do you cringe or celebrate? I’m a celebration type person but this time I’m not so sure. I’ve reached a very high number, one I never expected to reach. That alone is cringe-worthy. But then again I may just be a babe. These days you see or read of people aged 87, 95, 100 and more, enjoying life. It’s daunting, but there may be years ahead of me.

If so, I’d better get busy. These will be my top five concerns as I blow out the candles. The numerous candles.

 

1) A new bucket list. I’ve completed the first list andf aged out on some of my original goals. (No Machu Pichu for me. My lung situation is not that good anymore. But I am still breathing!) The new bucket list I’m creating focuses on mild activities like boat tours and train trips. Nothing where I might need to exert myself. And of course an adventure on the cheap side would be welcome.

2) Practicing frugality. Speaking of cheap, I need to cut back on my spending. Because I did not expect my nest egg to last this long…or longer, it’s quickly diminishing. Apparently, I need to eat less and wear my clothes longer. Unfortunately, I never met a budget that I liked. I’m not even sure I know what that means or how to do it.

3) Love and romance. Although I have a record of marriage and divorce, I may have given up on love too soon. A little companionship would be welcome for the next hundred years. I might have to get back in the game. Even if this means only for occasional company, the search requires standing appointments for nails, hair and a new and an awesome wardrobe. And there goes whatever budget I’ve been able to work out!

4) Health care. Yes, my parts are rusty and wearing out but after a few health scares, at least I’m mobile. Self-care is important at any age but if not now, when?  I know I should exercise - something I’ve avoided for several, make that, many years now.

5) A tattoo. I may be the only person on the planet without one. So, I’ve been thinking of getting a sexy tattoo for this upcoming birthday. I think my grandgirls who were going to do it with me have opted out. (They are beautiful, they really don’t need body embellishment.) I may have to opt out as well. I can’t find a spot on my body, wrist or ankle that provides a smooth surface for the artist.

There is one more concern. This struggle is real.

A recent news report stated that anti-aging products are a two trillion dollar business. Two trillion! A variety of colorful tablets promise to put a halt to your body’s aging by months or even years. Mind you, none of these supplements are approved by the FDA. And there are absolutely no guarantees.

I’ve never taken any anti-aging products but now may be the time - what do I have to lose? Except money. And there goes the budget again!

 

SMALL BUT SCARY

 So, several weeks ago I suffered a small but scary stroke. I lost my words, my sight, my hearing, and all sensation. I lost me.

A writer without words.

I was not unconscious but I was not conscious. I spiraled in pitch black space until I woke up in the recovery room over thirty minutes later.

Fortunately, I was already in the hospital, recovering from an out-patient scheduled procedure when this happened. My daughter and I were talking, both fully expecting to be on our way home in an hour. She was driver that day. What ensued so suddenly frightened her too. She told me the emergency team came to the surgery floor and took me down to the emergency room. “Do you remember being in the elevator?”

No.

Although this episode was the direct result of the earlier out-patient procedure it doesn’t mean it’ll never happen again. High blood pressure can cause strokes. High blood pressure is an inherited condition for me and one that as yet is not under control.  

I spent the night in the hospital for observation and testing. The MRI of my brain showed no brain damage, although my brain had been deprived of blood for several minutes - that is one way stroke happens. (I know friends and maybe family may be of the opinion that brain damage happened to me some time ago!)

Now I have a new doctor, a neurologist, new medication and an appointment with the caring professionals at the stroke center.

After my release from the hospital I cancelled a writer’s conference I’d planned on attending. I lost my confidence during those lost minutes. I’m leery of traveling alone in case of another episode. My goal is to get over that fear.

I will never again lightly dismiss hearing about a TIA, transient ischemic attack no matter how long it lasts.

My psychological recovery is almost complete. To say I was shaken is an understatement. But I’m working on regaining my mojo and continuing my adventures in aging.

BAD HABITS

 Do folks over 65 have bad habits? No. We outgrow bad habits. They just fall away in time. Or at least we like to think so. Our senior citizen men and women (like me) are sweet. They are wise. They are not alcoholics.  Nor are they drug addicts.  

Except they might be.

Dependence on drugs happens innocuously…with good intentions, while we’re not looking.

“I’ll have a little red wine before dinner.”

“I’ve heard it’s good for the heart.”

“Blue Zone residents drink wine all the time.”

Beware of when a little wine before dinner becomes a little wine at lunch. And then maybe a celebration. “This whiskey is brewed in my home town…and besides it’s the Fourth of July.”

With enough celebratory beverages the imbiber no longer feels lonely, depressed or isolated. It’s uplifting. For a minute.

Bad habits may even start with doctors. I’ve had an appointment with a new doctor with the end result being a declaration. “Anxiety!” he proclaimed and ripped off a prescription from his pad for a drug I neither needed or wanted. That incident happened in this decade. And it explains how some super agers get hooked on drugs. Doctors. Innocent, well-meaning doctors. As well as innocent, well-meaning friends. Might even be your sister. The man or woman you love. Age is not shield. It doesn’t defend us against questionable thoughts or actions. If it did submachine guns would not be available to grandma.

In my infancy I worked at rock radio stations during the late 60’s and early 70’s. My positions were in Miami and Los Angeles. Drug gateways. Drugs to make a person feel good were easily attainable and many air personalities felt they owed their high ratings, and therefore their jobs, to being…well, yes, high. (I was not an air personality - also known as disc jockeys - but I required creativity to write. In the spirit of confession, I have walked into cloudy control rooms and I gave in to curiosity once and did inhale something that was handed to me at a radio party.)

However, that was then and this is now. Motivations are different but stronger than we would like. Dealing in drugs is in the hope of feeling better, or feeling nothing at all. Drug users are no longer lonely, confused or seeking bliss. Or even youth. They need arthritis relief.

The thought there might be a drug even better than what’s been prescribed initiate experiments. If certain drugs prove to be illegal, well the old junkie rationalizes. ”I’m gonna die soon anyway. Might as well die happy.”  Or “Hey, if I get jail time I’ll at least have someone to talk to in the cell.”

Sneaky substance abuse. Without noticing you start needing and taking more. Age is not an excuse or a defense.

Drugs are drugs, including Alcohol. Folks often forget and ignore the fact they are ordering more or needing a bigger cart at the liquor store. “I’m having a party!”

And yes, a sure sign of big problems is the sign on your porch: It’s Five o’clock somewhere.

A 2023 national survey on drug use and health estimated that over two million people aged 65 and over met the criteria for an alcohol disorder.

Bad habits, i.e.drugs, can claim an older person anytime, anywhere.

Think about these stats. Baby boomers have the highest rate for use and abuse of drugs; drugs used as a coping mechanism for boredom and grief. A 2023 National survey on drug use and health estimated that 2.7 million people aged 65 and older met the criteria for an alcohol disorder. That means they are alcoholics. 

Heavy drinking according to the CDC means fifteen or more a week for men, eight drinks per week for women. Worse, as we age many of us develop increased sensitivity to alcohol, to those eight a week beverages, or even one a day.  One might feel like two in time.

Don’t let new bad habits happen to you. Remember the battle cry of Galaxy Quest…Never Surrender! Never Give-up!