SMALL BUT SCARY

 So, several weeks ago I suffered a small but scary stroke. I lost my words, my sight, my hearing, and all sensation. I lost me.

A writer without words.

I was not unconscious but I was not conscious. I spiraled in pitch black space until I woke up in the recovery room over thirty minutes later.

Fortunately, I was already in the hospital, recovering from an out-patient scheduled procedure when this happened. My daughter and I were talking, both fully expecting to be on our way home in an hour. She was driver that day. What ensued so suddenly frightened her too. She told me the emergency team came to the surgery floor and took me down to the emergency room. “Do you remember being in the elevator?”

No.

Although this episode was the direct result of the earlier out-patient procedure it doesn’t mean it’ll never happen again. High blood pressure can cause strokes. High blood pressure is an inherited condition for me and one that as yet is not under control.  

I spent the night in the hospital for observation and testing. The MRI of my brain showed no brain damage, although my brain had been deprived of blood for several minutes - that is one way stroke happens. (I know friends and maybe family may be of the opinion that brain damage happened to me some time ago!)

Now I have a new doctor, a neurologist, new medication and an appointment with the caring professionals at the stroke center.

After my release from the hospital I cancelled a writer’s conference I’d planned on attending. I lost my confidence during those lost minutes. I’m leery of traveling alone in case of another episode. My goal is to get over that fear.

I will never again lightly dismiss hearing about a TIA, transient ischemic attack no matter how long it lasts.

My psychological recovery is almost complete. To say I was shaken is an understatement. But I’m working on regaining my mojo and continuing my adventures in aging.