If I believed in conspiracy theories, I would focus all my energies on cookies. Holiday cookies in particular. I would point out people and places and ruthlessly expose the culprits engaged in the great seasonal cookie conspiracy. 

Even now kitchens across the globe look as if they were hit by a sugar explosion. Brigades of bakers armed with cookie cutters, parchment, and spatulas camp out by ovens, big and small.  All types of delicious sweets occupy every single inch of counter space: shortbread, thumbprints, fudge, rum balls, and biscotti. It's torture by sugar and sprinkles.

As the recipient of heaping plates of home-baked sugar cookies, candy, and bread guaranteed to put ten pounds on my hips just by inhaling the savory, once-a-year scents...I am begging for mercy. Somewhere there are people who need all this sugar. But not here. Not in my home. It isn't that I don't appreciate the time and efforts of the holiday bakers -- my thoughtful friends, neighbors, and motivated Hallmark viewers -- I do.  I have a sweet tooth, but I have no willpower. So please, pass the cookie plate by me this year. 

I will appreciate your act of kindness! And, hopefully, this year I'll not have to join a weight loss program only because I yielded yet again to the great cookie conspiracy.