LESSONS IN LEARNING TO LET GO

“Don’t put off ‘til tomorrow what you can do today.”

This ole’ adage, which I lived by back in the day, required me to create at least one lengthy list per twenty-four hour period. I used to live by my daily to-do list, which usually included the professional and personal, and necessitated a great deal of energy to accomplish every item. Sample follows:

1) Book guests for the week of the 20th,

2) Write three promotional videos,

3) Attend meeting on and in the employee lounge,

4) Make hair appointment

5) Return four calls from vendors

Etc. etc.

 

These lists were part of my life for some 35 years. Sometimes a few items had to be moved into the next day if I ran out of time or energy, but a low energy day was a rare phenomenon. And when I finished every item in one day I felt so very productive. Which is a grand feeling.

A grand feeling that totally deserted me sometime during my 70’s.

You may have had a similar experience. It was during my 70’s that I discovered high energy days were becoming fewer and far between. There were more low energy days which meant that very few objectives might be met. And that definitely wasn’t a good feeling.

Yes, even in “retirement” I lived by my to-do lists. It took me a few minutes (months) to realize this flux in energy might have something to do with aging, or possibly medications, and I shouldn’t beat myself up. So now on a low energy day, I give myself much needed permission to watch a movie marathon or take a morning nap. (Without giving up my afternoon nap.)

In the end, aging is about letting go, slowly, of one responsibility after another. Previous control oriented persons like me have a difficult time learning this. But I’m getting there. (Except for letting go of fun. Fun may take different forms now but I’ll never abandon a chance to laugh or to claim a new adventure.)

I’ve still not given up altogether on to-do lists either. Now I have two lists…a “maybe” it’ll get done, and a “general” list.  Maybe I’ll do this today, maybe not. Hopefully, I’ll accomplish several small tasks this week. The general list covers my goals for the month. There is no daily list anymore.          When I wake up in the morning, I can usually determine if it will be a high or low energy day and then plan accordingly.

We can’t expect that the goals we had when we were thirty years old for each day, month, and year would roll right into our retirement years. That would be downright self-defeating. The thing is to enjoy the day, each day whether high energy or low.

A dear friend frequently used to quote F. Scott Fitzgerald, “Living well is the best revenge.”

Nowadays for me, sometimes living well is as simple and satisfying as letting go of the lists and enjoying a morning nap!