Anti-Aging Rant

 

I stepped away from the computer recently for testing. That is how we spend our days after a certain age - testing. Testing. Testing.

During one of the tests I overheard a conversation on “anti-aging” which gave me chills. Honestly. There is no such thing as anti-aging. Why would you be against the natural progression of aging knowing the alternative? You either age or you pass. (Pass - the polite way of saying “die.” Which of course, we all will do eventually.)

Despite my feelings and a hand-full of other women, anti-aging tagged-products grossed about 44 Billion dollars in 2022, and are predicted to reach 78.70 billion in 2032. That’s just in just U.S. alone. The total planet’s expenditure is staggering. A recent Advdermatology Survey reported women spend on average $877. a year on anti-aging products. Apparently staying young, or at least youthful in appearance, is the goal of the majority of women, with men not far behind.

Obviously, I am in the minority. My total expenditure per year runs roughly $58. 95.  And the labels don’t say anything about halting the effects of aging. I confess to using a light moisturizer after washing my face in the morning.

When I hear…”You look so good!” there is an element of shock to the voice. There’s a silent “but” before the phrase. But How could you be 84?

I cannot brag about my appearance because I have done nothing to enhance it. I have wrinkles and jowls and attempt not to add to the creases with heavy make-up. I have never used night creams or products that promise to turn back time. I haven’t used eye-liner since 1980. My fear is underlining my bottom lid will bring attention to what alarmingly appear to be bags beneath my eyes.  Plus, I standup straight, which sometimes requires concentration.  (Just to be clear, I have no problem with anyone who chooses to enhance their appearance with botox, lip filler or in any other altering way.(Although the chipmunk look is not one of my favorites.)

People complain about Florida’s humidity but in my experience, Florida’s summer humidity is the best moisturizer ever. Most of my life I’ve lived in this very humid state and I’m grateful for that. My mother helped by giving me her fair, English complexion which was a major contribution.

There are health related products which don’t advertise as anti-aging, but in fact are. We all know sun ages the skin. I have used and continue to use a fair amount of sun block. Gone are the days of baby oil and August sun.  A good bronzer and a big straw hat do the same thing without giving you a terminal disease. (And I so love hats!) We’re living lucky! We really are.

Perhaps adding anti-aging products to the medicine cabinet or dressing table, is a woman saying she’s not happy with herself, so if she can change her appearance to one she believes beautiful, her life will change. She will change. She will be happy. But maybe she doesn’t have to change. Maybe she’s beautiful just as she is. 

Please remember and be thankful if you are naturally aging, it’s a privilege denied to many.

 

 

 

 

 

 

PARAPHERNALIA

 Have you started your paraphernalia collection yet?  We collect things throughout our lives; baseball cards, Lladra and Precious Moments figurines, sea shells and baseball caps being among our treasures.

As an aging population in the United States our collectibles are taking on a new look. Staying aware of what’s available to us is a good thing.

Paraphernalia is what we pick up as we enter into our adventures in aging. These are the dodads that make life a bit easier for us no matter how we resist. Obviously the more paraphernalia you own, the more in depth your aging process.

(Let us not forget the aging process is different for all of us. Urged into a “How Old Are You?” game recently, the new acquaintence who suggested the game turned out to be only 76 years old. Just a baby. I won.  We don’t always “look” our age - a more youthful appearance is a relatively new thing - but most of the time we feel our advancing age.)

Collecting paraphernalia often begins with small items at first. For me the first was an inhaler. And then the Pulse Oximeter, a very small item no more than an inch across. A lovely lanyard came with it that I can wear around my neck. Yay. And, I can carry both in a small purse.  

However, there might be larger paraphernalia ahead. Sometimes I feel a bit wobbly and wonder if I need a cane. My local pharmacy carries a large selection, but none with the rhinestone decor I would like. It may be time for me to buy a cane, decorate it myself and have it at the ready. Carrying a cane seems to scream “old” but as my daughter pointed out that might be better than falling. It might be like having an umbrella with you. It you carry an umbrella, it will not rain.  Graduating from a cane to a walker becomes another step in collecting paraphernalia. Walkers also can be bougie decorated to suit your personality.

My husband did not allow me to decorate his walker but among his  collection were a “grabber,” great for retrieving things you can’t reach. He also had a sock pull and grab bars in the shower. Grab bars in the shower are an awesome idea no matter what your age. Slippage happens. We added a shower chair at some point. Also a nice bonus.

Blood pressure monitors, also in my collection now, special electric can openers which do not require continual pressure and jar openers are also popular paraphernalia items. Toilet seat risers, button hooks and extended zipper pulls might be added in time to the collection. It depends. (pun intended)

Paraphernalia items may be purchased at your local pharmacy, at  online specialty stores and by catalogue. I’ve done all three. Thrift stores are also an almost secret source for gently used paraphernalia. Don’t pass them by!

You may not enjoy your new paraphernalia as much as collections in the past, but you will feel safer and that’s a very good thing!

 

 

UNFORSEEN CIRCUMSTANCES

 So, there is a problem with writing a weekly blog when you’re over eighty years old. Worn out parts or new viruses, illness of different sorts unexpectedly come into play and writing a blog is the last thing on your mind. The good news? We bounce back! And produce a new blog. Eventually.

That would be me.

An old friend recently complained about depression, tired of being prodded and poked. I can relate. Most of us can relate. But that is the price we pay for keeping on, for living our lives every day. To be present and to live to the fullest extent possible.

Not long ago, I fell into a patch of depression. Positive, optimistic, me. I floundered for a while. But Instead of going on an online, full-out shopping spree, (my usual go-to) I adopted a dog. A dog, well almost any animal, requires a certain amount of care, enough to take you out of yourself and better yet, out of depression. In return you receive unconditional love. What could be better?

(With my dog, I no longer have outrageous bills for an ill-timed shopping spree. A really awesome benefit.)

I also took classes and learned new things (also jogging the brain helps keep all that gray mass engaged). I joined a woman’s group which I have never done before, I am a lifelong anti-joiner. Forced committees at work gave me chills. And yet, here I am a member of group that goes places and does things.

Better than anything to cure depression…seek the counsel of a health care professional. Depression in our advanced years is not a new phenomenon. Life has changed, we have lost loved ones, and we are physically unable to do the things we used to - our last great party was twenty-two years ago.

I’ll miss writing a blog every now and then, but there are previous blogs available to read. I can’t stress about what I’m unable to do for the moment. Friends will always understand.

I have a tee-shirt that says it, and I’m always delighted to repeat the lyrics of one of the 1970’s great music hits…’c’om get happy!

 

 

 

SPRING FASHIONS

 The spring fashion shows are in full swing. The designers and models are showing us what we women will be wearing in the coming season. Well, maybe not all of us. Writers have a different fashion sense. I am currently working in sweatpants and a comfortable pajama top. Nonetheless.

I love fashion. I love everything about it, colors, fabrics, texture, minis and maxis.  And I always have. I love the magazines, the icons like Chanel and the late Iris Apfel. I watch awards programs just to see what the celebrities are wearing.

Fashion might have been my career. But mother happened. I’m not certain whether she told me…long after the fact…or my grandmother but the story goes that my aunt, a sophisticated buyer and later board member of one of New York City’s most prestigious retail companies wrote to my mother requesting that after graduation (university) I come to New York and work as her assistant protégé. She wrote to my mother instead of me as a courtesy. My mother apparently did not take well to the invitation and what promised a better life for me.

I would have begged for such an opportunity!

But my mother saw things differently. I would focus on this fashion career; perhaps neglect getting married and giving her grandchildren. Or. My mother had always been a bit jealous of my aunt’s glamorous life and finances that my mother could not have, had not. She was a typical fifties’ housewife who experienced little glamour. Read - none.

My mother was right in that I did take up a career that I enjoyed and that I focused on for many years. It could have been fashion, but instead it was broadcasting beginning with rock ‘n roll radio.

They say everything old is new again. And that seems true. Many times in the last few years I’ve said to myself, “You should have saved that mini- skirt.”  But really?

The mini-skirts are different today. They are exceedingly mini. And the legs I used to flaunt in my mini-skirts are not quite the same either. They are best covered in tights. My body has shifted and changed. I look for excellent engineering in my wardrobe now. I no longer fit in the smaller sizes of dresses or pants. The ship of hot pants sailed years ago.

Figuring out an age-appropriate wardrobe is a skill. That I’m working on to this day. Clothes do not make the woman…however; they can make a woman very happy. When you look your best, it’s difficult not to feel your best.

My friend Glory says in striving for an age-appropriate wardrobe you can’t go wrong with classic styles, they will always be age-appropriate. 

But also a bit boring?

 

ROMANCE SCAM

 The Romance Scam. Those two words should never be spoken together. And yet. They are. Currently, the number one scam - especially for the elderly - statistic points to the romance scam, love for the lovelorn or whatever you’d like to call it. Worse, now victims are being used to money launder. And wow, a criminal offense (whether knowingly or not) has nothing to do with love or romance. Fortunately, we aren't elderly and we do not fall for scams. We read the fine print and listen between the lines. right?

I started thinking about scam statistics on Valentines’ Day. You can see how one thing just led to another.

And then, still absorbing this news, a network evening news program cited fifty-four million dollars lost to love.  FIFTY-FOUR MILLION DOLLARS. Another news outlet gave the figure as a billion. BILLION DOLLARS!

Women have lost and continue to lose millions of dollars to empty promises. Mostly made by me. And again, it’s men (usually men) who prey on lonely women promising love forever more. These scam artists use poetry and the words every woman longs to hear at one time in her life or another…”You are my everything.” They send “borrowed” photos of attractive men found on the internet claiming to be themselves.

Loneliness can be a mental illness and those women or men dealing with loneliness can be helped without losing a lifetime of their savings. Lonely people become prime prey for the scam artist. Women are the most abused.

For aging women, widows, or women who have been waiting all their lives for Mr. Right, romantic words mean the promise of happiness. The men, reading (or writing) these words with scripts in hand are usually communicating from a foreign country - but not always! The scam artist promises a happy ending after this amazing woman (you) they’ve found by chance on the internet, is the love of their lives. They implore you to send them enough money for surgery, enough funds for getting out of jail, paying off crooked politicians, or for a passport and plane tickets. They promise these funds will lead to your happy ending.

Wrong.

A generation of women were raised to believe life required a man and marriage. There are many who still believe life cannot be complete without love and the man/woman team concept. And having love too! So much the better! These women are especially susceptible to the romance scam.

Of course, there were, and are, always a few rogue women wondering if a man is truly necessary to the quality of life. The romance scam artists can spot these women instantly and avoid them immediately.

But honestly, does any woman hate it when a man tells them how desirable they are and how much they are loved?  What woman hates roses and poetry? No one I know!

Back in the day I wrote romance novels. There is a reason why finding love is the most popular genre. (Statistically.) The prevailing theme is love can overcome all, love heals. And it often does. Regardless of the scam artists, we all want to believe in love and the magic of true love. And we should.

Falling in love is glorious. Falling for a romance scam is not.

 

 

 

A SHORT RANT

 I'm back. An old friend was in town for a visit and I lost focus on this blog. Losing focus has nothing to do with aging, it’s been my problem since kindergarten. And visiting with old friends is always a priority. If I hadn’t been I would have been off on a rant about stereotypes. Like now.

Yes, I read an article on the local newspaper's online section. Seems a grocery store changed the location of several products and according to the the whiner, “the 60 and 70-year-old shoppers were lost.” 

What do you bet all the customers were lost?  Confusion happens with change and most of us get over it…no matter what our age. Readjusting at 30, 40 and 50 happens as a matter of life course. Oddly enough, many of the current stereotypes are based on our parents, what they looked like, what they were feeling and doing back in the 50’s, those folks who would be hundreds of years old today. The mothers who wore “housedresses,” and  dads in their bowling team shirts .

When I see these stereotypes I wonder who the creatives are who staff the advertising agencies. When I read a complaint like above I accept that the “average” person (And I hate the term! None of us are average!) may not be up to date. Still, it bothers me, so I take to the blog to rant.

Read, observe, do whatever it takes to stay current. Living in the past helps no one. Don’t be caught stereotyping. Those of us in our 60’s, 70’s and 80’s are no more lost than most.

And that ends today's rant.

 

 

THE THIRD ACT! READY?

 It’s happening! The day in which aging becomes a positive rather than a negative, applauded rather than feared. It’s here! Well, almost.

We’re living in an aging population where encountering a group of geriatric folks doesn’t mean you’ll hear, “Lock those old people in a closet, Lydia. They drool.”

Not anymore. Now we’re “cute” or “awesome.”

Of course, some cultures have always valued their elders but it’s new to us and it’s different. Our elders are giving new meaning to longevity. These amazing men and women are engaging in the Senior Olympics, the Iron Man marathon, they’re graduating from college on the Dean’s List. What’s the secret?

Does the progress in which we’re now aging speak of a new lifestyle?

What are they eating? Do I exercise enough? Is it true Marjorie Stoneman Douglas enjoyed a shot of whiskey every night before bed? Will doing the same lead me to longevity, a youthful appearance and a young-at- heart heart? Should I adopt the Blue Zones way of living? Or should I move to the Mediterranean? Is it all genetic? Do I need an aging coach?

So many questions.

As more men and women age beyond the life expectations of just a generation ago, there’s an avalanche of articles, books and essays being written and published on the subject of aging. We may not have had many role models ahead of us to show us the way but now we can discover the good, the bad, and the everything in-between as longevity increases.

I’m of the Silent Generation (1928-1945) and frankly, my role models are in short supply. (none) Frankly, I’m surprised to be here! Even to be writing this.

Dr. Louise Aronson’s 2021 book, Elderhood: Redefining Aging, Transforming Medicine, Reimaging Life has become my guide as I traverse the Third Act. This unexpected bonus of life. I’m also studying in a course entitled Neuroscience of the Aging Brain.

Hopefully, I’ll learn strategies required for establishing and maintaining well-being, resiliency and happiness at all the remaining stages and ages of life. But especially the Third Act.

Much like the third act of a play…the Third Act of our life is the resolution. This is the time and place in our lives where we look for the meaning of our lives, the legacy we wish to leave, and prepare to live a meaningful and yes, joyful existence in the upcoming decades.

Becoming a Superager may require a whole new way of thinking. According to the latest research, our brains are sharpest at eighteen years old. (I’m pretty sure mine was not. I still believed leading with your heart was better than leading with your head.) By the time we reach 80 years of age, our frontal lobe decline is at twenty-four percent. We have limits now that have to be taken into account in order to reach Third Act satisfaction. (You notice I didn’t say bliss. My frontal lobe is in decline but I still have enough wits about me.)

I have started making a list (lists are what I do.) What can I not do anymore? What can I do? Realistically, I’m basing my cannot-do’s on the loss of brain power and engine power (our body). What remains will be a substantial foundation on which to build a significant and intentional Third Act. I hope.

Awesome Superagers, the curtain is rising!